Kundiman doesn't want me

I got rejected from Kundiman Asian American Poets' Retreat for the second year in a row. Many feelings: angry, indignant, hurt, misplaced, alienated, confused, cut-off, denied, alone... I've gotten rejected from literary journals and contests, but this is different. This is a conference whose name describes me, an Asian American Poet. And it's not as though I can just go and try to get into another Asian American Poet's retreat. This is it! This is the only one! Wah! :( I got the letter on Friday and I cried.

It's as if there was a retreat called, "Women Named Heather Who are Five Foot Two and a Half, Have Pet Rabbits Named After 'Star Trek: Voyager' Characters, and Who Once Accidentally Licked Frosty Paws (Dog Ice Cream) Off of Their Fingers," and I was rejected. "But that's me," I'd protest. "That's me!"